Six Eco-Kook Thrillers On Way — Plus: My Eco-Thriller
Posted by Dirty Harry on Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
After a dozen-plus box-office humiliations with their pro-abandon-the-Iraqis-to-terrorists flicks, why not try mixing a little socialism enviro-kookery into the ole’ thriller and see how it goes? Might work:
• Hulk director Louis Leterrier is slated to direct “Strays,” a story of a group of young businesspeople on a trip to Russia who mysteriously wake up in an abandoned radioactive city.
• Filming for “The Thaw” is wrapping up in Vancouver. Starring Val Kilmer, the film is about an Arctic research team that is attacked by a killer parasite released by melting polar ice caps.
• Mel Gibson stars in “The Edge of Darkness.” To be released next year, the film is a remake of a 1985 BBC miniseries that revolves around the efforts of a policeman to discover who murdered his environmental activist daughter.
• James Cameron’s science fiction film “Avatar” (his first feature film since “Titanic”) set to be released in December 2009, is described by the director as “an old-fashioned jungle adventure with an environmental conscience.”
• In the remake of “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” the fish-man will be spawned as a result of pharmaceutical dumping in the Amazon.
• The next installment of the “Shrek” series just might have an eco-friendly theme.
And what size carbon footprint will the production of these films leave? Oh, yeah, my mistake … carbon offsets. Somewhere thousands of brown people paid slave wages plant trees to offset *cough*bullshit*cough* all of this … and Al Gore’s mammoth electric bill.
Green = the new Red.
How about an eco-thriller starring The Mighty Jon Voight as the owner of a mom & pop shipping company put out of business by inflating gas prices. To speak! truth! to! power! he holds the heads of Greenpeace hostage until they confess on national television that they’re nothing more than a herd of dirty, filthy, hippie socialists using the environment as a means to economic chaos in order to gain power.
His iconic catchprase will be, ”Hug this,” before he fires the sawed-off — which I can promise you he’ll do frequently.
We fade to black at sunset. The Mighty Jon Voight stands by his SUV and smiles at a drilling platform off the coast of Malibu. Behind him a gas station clerk lowers the price of gas to $1.85 a gallon.
We’ll call it: Falling Down II: The Day Eco-Terror Cried.
Filed in General |
DJ Rickon 22 Jun 2008 at 6:04 pm 1You missed one, “The Road” with Viggo Mortison,due out this november.
Zundfolgeon 22 Jun 2008 at 6:11 pm 2Man, I wish someone would bring Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six to the big screen … its my favorite eco-kook thriller
Carolynon 22 Jun 2008 at 6:18 pm 3Hope that tree falls on Mr. Bony Arms. Or at least gives him a sliver up his butt.
V the Kon 22 Jun 2008 at 6:26 pm 4Here’s a plot you’ll never see in a Hollywood film: An honest businessman trying to provide consumers with goods and services and earn a living for his family has to fight against trust-fund activists and power-crazed government bureaucrats.
magdajhawthorneon 22 Jun 2008 at 6:51 pm 5“he holds the heads of Greenpeace hostage until they confess on national television that they’re nothing more than a herd of dirty, filthy, hippie socialists using the environment as a means to economic chaos in order to gain power.”
Man, I would willingly shell out my 10 buck to see this movie scene two or three times. I live in a “trendy” neighborhood and I can’t walk to my local supermarket without getting accosted by Greenpeace people every single day asking me if I “care about the environment” and don’t I want to join Greenpeace. And if I in any way acknowledge their existence — like to say, “well, I do care about the environment, but I don’t like Greenpeace or agree with you about man-made global warming” half the time they give me a Bush-derangement litany about the “war for oil” and all kinds of anti-Bush nonsense.
I’m just trying to buy frickin’ milk.
blackhawk12151on 22 Jun 2008 at 7:27 pm 6What about “The Road” is eco-friendly?
Its a story about a father-son journey through a post-apocalyptic Eastern United States. The cause of the apocalypse is left completely to the imagination. The story is just about the father and son. Of course that is based solely on the book by Cormac McCarthy…if they have made changes for the film I stand corrected but I doubt McCarthy would be okay with that
Splashon 22 Jun 2008 at 7:49 pm 7I’ve heard ‘The Road’ is stridently liberal in a few ways. Anti-religion is one aspect at least, so I assume putting an enviro-twist on it wouldn’t be difficult.
But what the flip has happened to Mel Gibson lately? Has he totally lost it or what?
mjkon 22 Jun 2008 at 8:12 pm 8I suspect, Splash, that he’s trying to get his Hollywood cred back after the “Sugartits” episode. And more unforgivably, “The Passion Of The Christ” (at least to Hollywood people).
Flynn35on 22 Jun 2008 at 8:37 pm 9Only from conservative independent filmmakers will you find films being made which show liberals, environmental and global warming nut jobs as closet commies and the bad guys in film. The audience is out there that would eat this stuff up. I have met more conservative writers that are willing to write these scripts if the funding was there. Hollywood would never make a film that criticizes their ideals on film. They have their conservative enemies to do that to
As far as Mel is concern. He has been down to his huge estate in Costa Rica with his family. He is working on some film, I read about it but I don’t remember what it is. Mel isn’t worrying about his standing in Hollywood, he id bullet proof. He is sitting on over a billion dollars and he can make any kind of film, distribute it himself. He doesn’t need to worry about his ’sugartits’ crack and with the Passion making 600 million, he needs to be forgiven by whom?
Hollywood is piss at Mel, because he never gave a dime of the Passion’s money to anyone company in the business. I remember the CEO of Disney saying he would never work with Mel and it was Disney that put out Apocalyto. When it comes to making big grosses they will always work with Mel. Or he can do his own thing because he has a huge following out there.
mjkon 22 Jun 2008 at 9:04 pm 10Hint, Flynn:
I was kidding. Just FYI.
RWAon 22 Jun 2008 at 9:08 pm 11Ever see The Last Chase? It’s not a very good movie, admittedly, but it’s eerily prescient in the way it demonstrates the consequences of the over-regulated society the more extreme greens would impose upon us.
Mel Gibson Celebrity Gossip | Six Eco-Kook Thrillers On Way — Plus: My Eco-Thrilleron 22 Jun 2008 at 9:31 pm 12[…] of a policeman to discover who murdered his environmental activist daughter. … Source: Six Eco-Kook Thrillers On Way — Plus: My Eco-Thriller Who Would Be A Worse Mom? Paris or Lindsey? Vote Now And Get A Free iPhone. Mel Gibson Used […]
RWAon 22 Jun 2008 at 10:47 pm 13He Harry, you got your first splogger!
Steve W.on 23 Jun 2008 at 5:54 am 14There’s also a remake of “The Birds” in the works. See http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/search/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000894790
Setting aside the question of why anyone feels the need to remake a Hitchcock movie, this seems like such an obvious platform for eco-kookery. There will inevitably be a line or two in the movie explaining that the birds are attacking because of … global warming!
blackhawk12151on 23 Jun 2008 at 5:55 am 15The political motivations of “The Road” can be debated endlessly. Some will argue that its a warning against nuclear war (there is some indication in the book that this is the cause of the apocalypse) and some will argue that its a warning to those who refuse to acknowledge the danger we face.
That being said there is no eco-friendly theme in the book. The father and son are simply trying to survive. They mention they are “carrying the fire” which essentially means they are keeping the hope of humanity alive. If is was a preachy eco-themed book I doubt they would be subtle enough that I would miss it (McCarthy is my favorite writer so I am familiar with his style).
The underlying themes and the allegories can be debated but the book is ultimately about the father and son journey. That is a good thing because whatever the political viewpoint is can be debated, unlike the slew of liberal “message” movies we have been inundated with over the past few years
HeartbreakRidgeon 23 Jun 2008 at 6:17 am 16re: Mel Gibson’s film: He’d win an award for biggest balls in Hollywood if he make it about the murder of an animal research scientist *AND* made the murderer the bad guy.
Il Padrinoon 23 Jun 2008 at 6:18 am 17STRAYS actually sounds like it could be enviro-conscious (ugh) in a good way. I’m well aware this will almost certainly not be the case, but it’s remotely possible such a story could obliquely point out that the true danger posed by nuclear power isn’t nuclear power per se, but the administration of such power by the corrupt, tyrannical, short-sighted Communist government of the former Soviet Union — which is the real lesson of Chernobyl.
Look, I know it’s farfetched. But I can dream!
Besides which, I’ve seen pictures of some of the abandoned cities in Russia … they’re very eerie places and would make a fine backdrop for any film.
Stephanieon 23 Jun 2008 at 6:33 am 18A whole lotta movies I won’t see. As far as Mel goes I just don’t know what to think. Its too bad. An why would anyone want to remake the Birds? Hitchcock is rolling in his grave right now.
Stephanieon 23 Jun 2008 at 7:10 am 19Hell Harry I’d help you! Need work with a script? I just love that piccie of John Voigt!
Right in Seattleon 23 Jun 2008 at 7:29 am 20Il Padrino, if you think that is even remotely possible I got some Florida waterfront property you might be interested.
A Hollywood Lefty would no more write the story you describe than they would write a “pro-Marines in Iraq freeing millions from Islamo-Nazi oppression” story.
NeoConJedion 23 Jun 2008 at 7:34 am 21I would definitely see Falling Down II: The Day the Eco-Terror Died.
It’s sad to read that about Avatar, though. Oh, well … I hope the theme doesn’t beat you over the head, and it’s more straight-up space opera.
Bennett Owenon 23 Jun 2008 at 7:48 am 22In the late eighties, German Chancellor Helmut Kohl described the Greens as “The Watermelon Party…green on the outside, red on the inside.” It was true then. It’s true now.
The G manon 23 Jun 2008 at 9:31 am 23The closing shot you describe with the rig and the price markdown is sheer genius.
Stephanieon 23 Jun 2008 at 11:21 am 24I just realized what that picture is? WTF is that person doing to that tree? Do the cops know? Thats sexual abuse if I ever saw it…..enviro porn with an underage sapling!
Tales Of Nine « The Reluctant Optimiston 23 Jun 2008 at 11:21 am 25[…] have all be so bad they bombed at the box office and disappeared quickly. Well, now here comes the Eco-Kook movies designed to get us all ginned-up about global warming. From the sounds of them I would wait for the […]
bargal20on 24 Jun 2008 at 7:06 am 26Charlton Heston was the star of the first true eco-kook movie. That must really flip your pancake.
Stephanieon 24 Jun 2008 at 7:21 am 27Man can we screen this place? The lice are still getting in. I have Raid…would that work?
bargal20on 02 Jul 2008 at 2:07 pm 28Um, Stephanie, are you saying Soylent Green is’nt an eco-kook movie?
florida abandoned propertyon 16 Jul 2008 at 10:27 pm 29florida abandoned property…
It sounds interesting but I am not sure that I agree with you completely….
Pee Female Pee Pee Holeon 26 Jul 2008 at 9:54 am 30Pee Female Pee Pee Hole…
I can not agree with you in 100% regarding some thoughts, but you got good point of view…