10 Worst Films Of 2008
Posted by Dirty Harry on Monday, January 5th, 2009
Worst lists are somewhat disingenuous. The truly worst films of the year are always the cheapie slasher flicks and pretentious independent films Blockbuster only buys a single copy of. But my definition of worst is “worst experience,” as in crushing disappointment, as in There’s A Special Place In Hell For All Involved And We Call It “The George Lucas Wing.”
So are the films on my list really the worst of the year? Worse than The Eye or the remake of Prom Night? Probably not. But those films are what they are. Mine is a list of soul eaters and hack jobs. Mine is a list that makes you rethink your love of the medium and wonder why you would ever plunk down ten-bucks again. These are films that should be unspooled, turned into nooses, and all involved in the making of them hanged on pay-per-view…
And knowing that, we all know numero uno could only be…
1. Indiana Jones And The Is The Climax Really A Spaceship Taking Off?
George Lucas has a unique gift for hitting lows. Can it get any worse than the Ewoks? Have you met Anakin Yippeeee! Skywalker? How about Jar Jar? Oh, wait, behind that awesome Darth Vader mask is really a pouty little meterosexual with less testosterone than my Aunt Millie. And never forget: NOOOOooooooo!!!
Lucas hits the bottom of all bottoms with the prequels, starts digging, finds Indiana Jones, and, well, see South Park.
I hate George Lucas.
2. George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead
Bought me a ticket and stood in line for an hour with a scary bunch o’ weirdos just to be there when the man himself, George A. Romero, introduced his new film. Yes, I’m a fan.
Sure, Romero’s always been a leftie, but Diary’s theme is a fascist one angry at the number of voices disseminating the news.
Oh, and it’s boring and not at all scary.
Bush Derangement Syndrome fells another.
3. Miracle At. St. Anna
Spike Lee decided his best response to Clint Eastwood not putting historically inaccurate black characters in his pair of Iwo Jima films was to make a crappy, pretentious, confusing, self-indulgent movie that would fail miserably at the box office.
Or maybe Spike Lee hasn’t given up on his quest to get Spike TV to change their name and this was a tactic of embarrassment?
Either way … good call.
4. Quantum of Solace
When I’m King (negotiations are ongoing) certain filmmakers will be flogged with the little, precious shaky-cams they use to get out of the hard work of choreographing something, I don’t know … exciting?
Easily the worst James Bond movie ever because it’s not even a lousy James Bond movie, it’s a lousy Bourne sequel. The plot’s as incomprehensible as the action scenes and the villain as dull as the title song. We’re one removed from a reboot and already in need of a reboot.
5. The Mummy: Tomb Of The Something Or Other
You can only assume that the goal was to surpass the suck of the previous one.
Shouldn’t it be a felony to waste Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh?
6. War, Inc.
How could a movie fail that comes from the pure place of wanting America to lose a war and hand a country and its 25 million innocent citizens over to the animals who hit us on 9/11?
After last year’s wretched Grace is Gone, this is John Cusack’s second anti-war humiliation, this one written by the man himself, which helped to inspire a brand new term: Hasbeentard.
7. The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)
An emotionless, cold, robotic being with the charisma of a copy machine is prepared to wipe out all of mankind in order to save the planet.
We would have been much less disappointed knowing beforehand it was The Al Gore Story.
8. 88 Minutes
Al Pacino’s acting meter broke fifteen years ago. But now his hair’s broke as is the knob on the tanning bed that allows him to set it below “Lesbian Weightlifter.”
WHHEEnnn-ahh YOU speaKKK all YOUR LINEZZZZ like-ah THISsss-ahhh - there’s really no need to hang it up. You can’t embarrass yourself further or tarnish your legacy more. The damage is done. Hoo-rahhh, chase that check.
9. Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden?
aka: What In The World Was The Point?
Morgan Spurlock, the genius who had to eat only McDonald’s for thirty days in order to figure out it might be unhealthy, hits the Middle East to interview America Haters and spread a little hate himself.
Spurlock ends his derivative film at the edge of the Afghan mountains. There’s a fence between him and The Land of Osama bin Laden. On the fence are signs warning people away because of the terrorist danger. Like any present-day, millionaire filmmaker would, Spurlock turns his little self-involved, smart aleck, pansy-ass around and goes home.
In his own misguided way, that moment honored the United States Military. We’re reminded of the men and women who run towards that danger, not slink away from it under the narcissistic impression they’ve done something that matters beyond the self-righteous walls of the Sundance Film Festival.
10. Righteous Kill
It’s like 88 Minutes but with an additional former-legend whose acting meter broke a decade ago.
NOTE: My favorite films of the year will post on Big Hollywood.
Filed in General |
Michaelon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:12 am 1Honestly I don’t know how THE SPIRIT does not make this list. As bad as 88 Minutes and Righteous Kill were I thought both were better than the Spirit. At last they were a-hem, watchable.
Jeffon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:12 am 2I can proudly say I only saw 2 of those movies. God Bless you for having to sit through all of them so we don’t have to.
Stephanieon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:16 am 3I knew you would have Indy on as the worst. It could be no worse. And I to hate George Lucas.
Billon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:16 am 4Thank goodness Quantum of Solace was the only one of these I had the misfortune to sit through. That’s what comes from allowing others to choose what movie you’ll go see.
amzarakon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:27 am 5I haven’t seen any of these movies. I’m worried if I watch the Indiana Jones movie that it will affect my love for the other three. Can anyone tell me if that’s the case? Is it so bad that it tarnishes the other three? Someone please let me know because I feel obligated to watch it.
And yes, I hate George Lucas too.
Djangoon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:31 am 6Are you sure the photo for Righteous Kill isn’t actually from Diary of the Dead?
PerfectTommyon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:35 am 7amzarak - DH is right about The Crystal Skull being the worst film of the year. Nothing can truly take from the greatness that is Raiders, but it is a painful experience. Worse than Jar Jar is the Fridge and the monkeys in the vines and the Shia and the ATV over the multiple falls and…ugggghhhhh!
Traffic Cop Timmyon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:36 am 8The only one I saw was 88 Minutes, although it seemed like 176.
I will rent a few of these eventually. There is so little in recent releases and even less with Blu-Ray. I’ve already watched most of my favs in Blu-Ray, so unless it’s a moldy oldy I’m back to recent releases.
There is a bright side. I read more this way.
PerfectTommyon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:36 am 9Oh, and I thought Quantum was okay. Probably because I went in with very low expectations. Indy and Bond were the only two of these I saw.
hairryon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:39 am 10I liked “Quantum of Solace”, but I do understand the dislike for it. However, the problem I had with “Rightous Kill” is that it was not all that bad. I went to the flick with my girlfriend hoping, praying, to see a train wreck of a movie. One look at the jowly mugs of Deniro and Pacino, and considering their disgusting performances of late, I figured “Rightous Kill” would be a laugh festival of overacting. I ended up liking it. Those two hams still look like they could lay a beatin’ on somebody, which is more than I could say about the current generation of leading men.
Joaoon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:40 am 11Let me partly defend Pacino here. I don’t disagree that the quality of his work has been lackluster during the past 15 years (I assume you you cut it off at 15 because Glengary Glenross was 16 years ago), but let’s not forget that those 15 years also gave us fine performances in:
Merchant of Venice
People I know (movie’s kind of a mess, but I thought Pacino was quite good in it)
Imsomnia
Donnie Brasco
The Insider
And let’s not forget that some of his hamtastic performances in those 15 years were either appropriate for the role or came in high-quality movies:
Heat
Angels in America
Any Given Sunday
Devil’s Advocate
Carlito’s Way
Or that in addition to the above, he is dedicated to the craft, as demonstrated in the admirable non-movie that was:
Looking for Richard
Jaredon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:40 am 12Harry, why, I must ask, is Jumper not on that list?
Anyways…
1. Meet the Spartans. A friend paid for my ticket, with me not having to pay him back, and I still felt robbed.
2. Jumper. Charaters dumb enough to make slasher-fodder look like Rhodes scholars
I liked (not loved, liked) Indy Jones…
And Another Way to Die was a good opening song. You’re wrong. Even as King.
Michaelon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:43 am 13“An emotionless, cold, robotic being with the charisma of a copy machine.”
Pretty much covers Keanu’s entire career.
Traffic Cop Timmyon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:45 am 14Best Movie Treatment of 2008
Scene opens…
I try to move the whole unit because we are painting the room. After unscrewing the wall brackets the idea is to slide the entire shebang right out the door.
First, I feel something give. It might be my mortality. I turn and look up. A shadow falls across my face. The whole unit is coming down on me! Like a cartoon, that which would crush me, pauses, defying gravity just long enough for a *gulp*.
Rather than smarten up and run, I decide to save the day. Up go my arms, out goes my back. Luckily, what little good I did causes the DVDs to cascade from the shelves in a waterfall until the unit lightens up enough for me to stand it up. The best part is the look on The Hot Little Number I Call Mrs. Harry’s face when she runs in and finds me hip deep in DVDs — and being hip deep in DVDs is kind of a groovy feeling.
Fade to utopia…
Christian Totoon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:46 am 15Great list. Didn’t hate “Righteous” as much as you because “88 Minutes” set me up … nothing was as bad as that this year.
And as much as I dig Romero, one gets the feeling he’s more fond of his zombies than the flesh and blood people supposed to be the heroes in his films …
sauropodon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:47 am 16I’m glad Joao brought up Pacino’s work in Insomnia, Merchant of Venice, The Insider, and Heat. I thought he was terrific in all of those.
I would still rather watch Pacino than most of the younger actors today, the mumblers and mutterers who are afraid to take risks.
Traffic Cop Timmyon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:48 am 17“with the charisma of a copy machine”
An insult to copy machines everywhere.
BTW: Who says “copy machine” any more?
(Other than old-school Harry)
Growltigeron 30 Dec 2008 at 11:50 am 18I saw none of them in the theatre and only one on “On Demand” (Indie). I’m feeling quite proud of myself, actually.
That’s $95.00 saved. (Of course, I relied on Dirty Harry to warn me away from a few of them so I can’t take all the credit).
So far as the Jones series goes; I’m not an Indiana Jones fan (no surprise there). I hated the first one, was ambivalent about the second one (Kate Capshaw) and despised the rest. On the whole, I thought Crystal Skull was as good or better than all the others, especially the first with Indiana riding around on submarines. I find myself being able to suspend disbelief about flying saucers a lot easier than a man riding across the ocean on the conning tower of a submarine.
Looking forward to the ten best on “Big Hollywood”. Even so, will miss Dirty Harry’s Place. What a find!
Ben Trameron 30 Dec 2008 at 12:45 pm 19Bravo for putting “Diary of the Dead” on the list. I found it a pretentious bore. I re-watched “Creepshow” the other night and didn’t find it as entertaining as I did when I was 13. You should watch “Martin.” An interesting, original take on the vampire legend.
Plissken79on 30 Dec 2008 at 12:52 pm 20OK, what happened to that post? Anyway, if it shows up again, I will keep it short. DH is way wrong about Indy IV, but I have been saying that all year (PS-Spielberg directed Indy IV, not George Lucas). Lucas did make a simply awful film with The Clone Wars, however. That should have been #1
Wrong also about Quantum, although that film was no Casino Royale. They should bounce back next film
gmkon 30 Dec 2008 at 12:59 pm 21Only movie I saw on this list was Quantum and I walked out when the leftist emotional abuse started about halfway in. It’s the only one I (in retrospect, foolishly) thought had to be good because of the strength of the previous installment. But those clever folks tricked me; I showed up to get spat on for my ten dollars.
It’s like they’re trying to run themselves out of business, it really is.
kinlawon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:00 pm 22Growl, I disagree with you if you think “the submarine problem” ruins that brilliant movie. It’s just a very temporary glitch, easily moved past. However, I would love to know what the filmmakers thought about it. Did the sub submerge? (How could it not, by the way) Did he sneak aboard (get inside)? Does anyone know if this was ever written about by anyone associated with the film?
I too will miss Harry’s Place. Been with him since Libertas. I just dont think BH will be as good.
Plissken79on 30 Dec 2008 at 1:03 pm 23Last time I will try this. Crystal Skull is no Raiders, but quite fun entertainiment and quite better then Temple of Doom. A critically and financially successful film undserving of all the internet hate.
Quantum of Solace had its considerable flaws, but not a bad film, although no Casino Royale.
Lucas’ cheeseball The Clone Wars, however, should be #1, and demonstrates perhaps the Star Wars series should be given a rest, or at least taken away from Lucas
Morganon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:06 pm 24Saw two of the movies on that list (Indy 4 & Righteous Kill) and would still like to see another one (Quantum Of Solace).
Indy 4 isn’t the best of the series, but the whole series is pure entertainment, and frankly shouldn’t be at the top of a top-10 worst movies list. Righteous Kill wasn’t particularly well made, but remains a watchable film, with Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino still delivering as lead actors.
kinlawon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:10 pm 25PS: Libertas still on a “summer hiatus”.
NCCon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:14 pm 26I do not think that The Chrystal Skull was the worst film of the year. In fact, I liked it, though somewhat mildly.
I don’t know if I saw many more than 10 films at the cinema this year, but also doubt that Righteous Kill was the tenth worst film released this year.
Rodon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:16 pm 27Get Pachino a guitar-he looks like a resurrected Frank Zappa in that shot!
“I’m a moron and this is my wife. She’s frosting a cake with a paper knife…”
benon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:21 pm 28I’m on board with you here, Harry, 100%. It’s a sad thing.
JohnLockeon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:24 pm 29I actually kinda liked Quantum, despite the fact that, even being the young whippersnapper that I am, I couldn’t follow that opening chase sequence. I don’t plan on watching it again anytime soon, but I thought it was passable.
And I still defend the opening montage and theme song.
Jack Marinoon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:32 pm 30Same old stuff… POOP in, POOP out
Ken Bendoron 30 Dec 2008 at 1:33 pm 31Say what you must about Pacino and DeNiro’s recent output (and John Cusack’s for that matter), but no one in the last 15 years* has taken more of a metaphorical dump on his legacy more than Chevy Chase has; his performance meter combusted right after Christmas Vacation (kudos for the high ranking for your Xmas list, DH)…
JimmyCon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:33 pm 32I haven’t seen War Inc, but my parents rented it despite my warnings to avoid it, because they thought it was a sequel of sorts to Grosse Pointe Blank. In other words, the marketing department did their job, and my wonderful folks got sucker-punched.
Oh, well, at least now they pay more attention to my opinions. I warned them away from the Day The Earth Stood Still remake, and they heeded me this time.
HeartbreakRidgeon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:35 pm 33Quantum was okay, and I liked the opening sequence. Opening montage, good, theme song, sucked. I also liked that the bad guy was hiding evil behind a “green” facade. We don’t see any of THAT in real life, now do we?
I was about to disagree on when DeNiro’s acting meter broke, and then I realized Ronin was ten years ago so… yeah. Pity.
mojoon 30 Dec 2008 at 1:38 pm 34I consider myself extraordinarily blessed in that I managed to avoid ALL of those dogs. Especially the “Stone-face” Reeves suck-fest.
Kneel before my perspicacity!
Albertus Magnuson 30 Dec 2008 at 1:38 pm 35For a second I thought your second pick was “Dairy of the Dead.” Zombies making cottage cheese would have been a better movie.
Kensingtonon 30 Dec 2008 at 2:06 pm 36I was surprised to find Diary of the Dead on several top ten lists this week, unaware that it’s apparently chock full of BDS.
That would probably explain it, wouldn’t it?
Ken Bendoron 30 Dec 2008 at 2:17 pm 37*on second thought, make that TWENTY years…
John McClainon 30 Dec 2008 at 2:17 pm 38Just for the hell of it, if a submarine does not expect any enemy engagements, it will travel on the surface because while submerged it drains the battery, it’s hot and the air smells like…well you get the idea. Plus if he died that would have been a bad ending.
Die Hard Fan
oLD gUYon 30 Dec 2008 at 2:28 pm 39I get a perverse thrill out of hitting the “Not Interested” button at Netflix. I know its stupid because its not like I’m Speaking Truth to Power (cue music) or anything. But I still like it. War, Inc and TDTESS are going to get it. Take that, Hollywood! I bet it’ll leave a mark!
Truly, I am pathetic and have no life…
Scotton 30 Dec 2008 at 2:34 pm 40About that damn submarine thing in Raiders. For one, the U-Boat was not traveling that far - from somewhere off the coast of North Africa to a Greek island. That’s, at most, a little over a day (Med cruise ships do similar runs from Egypt to Cyprus and Crete overnight), and they’d get their quickly if they traveled on the surface rather than submerged. I know there is the contention that the order to dive is heard on the soundtrack. Okay, Indy gets inside somehow. There were several hatchways on that vintage of submarine, and if the crew was sufficiently distracted, he could have slipped down the forward hatch (they didn’t “lock” them) and hid somewhere among the torpedoes. Again, the distance they were traveling would have been covered pretty quickly, so it would have meant an uncomfortable night for him. I know this all still requires the suspension of disbelief, but it’s not as great a stretch as what Crystal Skull demanded.
maatkareon 30 Dec 2008 at 3:19 pm 41I also didn’t think Indy 4 was all that bad…but I also liked Godfather 3, so… “The Ruins,” however…THAT was a bad movie! Not because of political messaging or anything, it was bad for all the traditional reasons: bad plot, acting, resolution, effects, and for a horror flick, NOT SCARY. I also thought “Wanted” was pretty bad, too.
Wilson the Volleyballon 30 Dec 2008 at 3:26 pm 42Dirty,
What about Cloverfield? I remember you had such high expectations (the Godzilla fan that you are), but you gave it a scathing review. Was this an oversight? Or are these other films really that bad?
KOTCS deserves the number one spot. No doubt about it. What a horrid, horrid film. All of it - directing, acting, screenwriting - was embarrassing. The script should have been hung, drawn and quartered.
R. Dittmaron 30 Dec 2008 at 3:26 pm 43The thing that makes The Crystal Skull so wretched is that it’s so completely half-@$$. Here they’ve had - what? - 20 or more years to dream something up and this was the best they could do? If something about it at least gave the impression that they were trying, maybe the whole thing would be merely disappointing. As it is, you feel like they just tossed off a script over a couple of beers one night and started shooting in the expectation that people would go see it no matter how little effort was put into it. Sadly, there were somewhat correct in that expectation but that outright insulting quality truly makes it a candidate for year’s worst.
PerfectTommyon 30 Dec 2008 at 3:34 pm 44Just from the trailers, I would think “Untraceable” was one of the worst films of the year. I loved the line “He’s hacked all the way into my wireless network!”
PerfectTommyon 30 Dec 2008 at 3:37 pm 45I take back what I just said, “The Love Guru” was the worst film of the year based solely on trailers. I started going to the lobby when the trailer played in the theater and changed the channel when the commercials for it came on TV. (If any one cares to see my favorite films of the year, click on my name.)
Joe Weldonon 30 Dec 2008 at 4:11 pm 46The only one on the list I saw was Indy 4.
What an unforgivable piece of sh*t.
I waited 16 years for that mother—ker and it was TERRIBLE.
You guys keep talking about how Pacino and DeNiro have lost it.
What about Spielberg?
Once upon a time, Spielberg couldn’t fail to make a blockbuster if he tried.
‘1941′ was a MASTERPIECE compared to Indy 4.
WTF happened to him?
Kiton 30 Dec 2008 at 4:50 pm 47Well I thought Indiana Jones IV was quite good.
I guess I’m just Butters.
Professor Chaos also enjoyed the movie I hear.
YOU WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF PROFESSOR CHAOS!!!
pageivon 30 Dec 2008 at 4:51 pm 48“George Lucas Raped My Childhood!!!!!!!!!!”
Oh please, you fanboys need to move out of mamma’s basement. So the pre-equals didnt have the fights you drempt about for 25 years, move on. I wasn’t in love with ever aspect, but look at the OT, there are things that make the OT less than perfect. The PT has a great story, despite how much Anakin just needs a good punch in the face.
Indy goes after aliens, is this really different from the magic stones in TTOD? And The Fridge? Did you guys ever see some of the things in the first three?
Flame on!
Amoson 30 Dec 2008 at 4:53 pm 49YES! YOU INCLUDED DIARY OF THE DEAD!
I HATED that move. HATED IT WITH A WHITE-HOT HATRED.
You know when you need to revile a thing utterly abominable and your sheer outrage chokes your mouth as the torrent of abuse struggles to gush forth and you’re paralyzed, incoherent, body twitching, mouth flecked with foam, unable to express yourself except with the blazing loathing in your eyes that promises the immanence of violent death as soon as you recover enough motor function to improvise some form of primitive weapon? Like that.
I don’t even know where to start. The brainless, bolt-eyed vacuity of the teenage cast. The lazy, ignorant stupidity of the subtext, the pathetic, contemptible acting, THAT PRETENTIOUS BRITISH TOOL WHO PLAYED THE ‘PROFESSOR’, I HOPE HE DIES.
“Oh, lets leave the door open and blithely have a shower in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypses, because that’s the only hackneyed way this degenerate Hollywood slickspittle of a washed-up film maker can think of to generate ’suspense’.” Yeah, do that, moron. You do that. Have a nice shower.
Utter loathing and contempt. But maybe I’m only saying that because I didn’t see crystal skull.
Stickwick Staperson 30 Dec 2008 at 5:08 pm 50pageiv,
One word: proofread.
steevyon 30 Dec 2008 at 6:06 pm 51I missed them all.My 4 year old nephew did like Chrystal Skull though.
Templaron 30 Dec 2008 at 6:11 pm 52So the pre-equals didnt have the fights you drempt about for 25 years, move on.
Actually, the PT did have the fights we’d been dreaming about for 25 years. Problem was, that’s about all that they did have.
As for “moving on”, I’m currently putting into motion the first stages of my master plan to supplant George Lucas as Master Nerd Filmmaker of the Earth, so there.
Jim Pon 30 Dec 2008 at 7:07 pm 53“I haven’t seen any of these movies. I’m worried if I watch the Indiana Jones movie that it will affect my love for the other three. Can anyone tell me if that’s the case? Is it so bad that it tarnishes the other three? Someone please let me know because I feel obligated to watch it.
And yes, I hate George Lucas too”
You know, this one is not a clear winner for this list. I saw this in the theater, which was packed, and the audience actually clapped when it ended. Also, I heard the woman next to me turn to her husband and say “that was SO good!.” So, The thing is that there are many people who would disagree with DH on this one. I didn’t think it was terrible, but from the standpoint of the other films, this one didn’t match up. But for a popcorn movie, it can be entertaining. so, in your case, I would say see it… It isn’t going to do anything to tarnish the other indie’s. And as far as plot, can anyone say that the plot for the other indies’ were really THAT believable?? no, they weren’t but the actors carried the day, and they didn’t have that going for them as much here…
NeoConJedion 30 Dec 2008 at 7:44 pm 54I liked Indy IV a lot — although I thought David Keopp’s script needed a bit of help.
The George Lucas hate always makes me laugh. I love the guy, and I’m glad he still makes films — at least to piss off the haters.
Oh well … I HATE Quentin Tarantino … but I guess when that hack borrows his style (ALL of it, I may add) from different genres of old films, it’s “artistic”. Maybe it’s because his characters talk about hamburgers while listening to horrible songs.
YatYason 30 Dec 2008 at 8:02 pm 55The only one I saw at the theater was “Mummy III” and I liked it. I didn’t love it like “Mummy I”, but thought it was a good action movie. Of course, I’m biased towards any movie with Asian women like my wife. Plus, the female villian in a uniform with a scar….hubba, hubba.
Ronsonicon 30 Dec 2008 at 9:21 pm 56amzarakon 30 Dec 2008 at 11:27 am 5
I haven’t seen any of these movies. I’m worried if I watch the Indiana Jones movie that it will affect my love for the other three. Can anyone tell me if that’s the case? Is it so bad that it tarnishes the other three?
It is not bad in quite that way. Let’s think of it in a “very special episode of Indiana Jones” sort of way.
Lucas threw in all the stuff you’ll see in the theme park ride. He threw in the possibility of future episodes with the new kid. He added nothing actually original or clever, just sorta weird. It is dumb and formulaic beyond words.
I still love Karen Allen’s voice. They didn’t ruin that. The rest is only meh but so aggressively, militantly meh it offends.
Nick1970on 30 Dec 2008 at 10:29 pm 57I also liked Indy 4 — it wasn’t necessarily a GREAT film, but it did its job as “pulpy” summer entertainment. (And the audience where I saw it seemed to agree — “Not bad at all.” was what the people next to me said when it ended, as others clapped.) It also pulled in nearly $317 million and scored a 76% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, so evidently not EVERYONE hated it.
Of course, if you didn’t like it, that’s fine — but calling it #1 Worst of 2008 seems a bit much. Was it really worse than all the hateful anti-American and leftist drivel (like, say, Oliver Stone’s “W”) that came out this year?
And like NeoConJedi, I also have to wonder about those who say they HATE George Lucas. I can understand not liking his films, but people act like he is Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Osama Bin Ladin, Saddam Hussein, Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Nancy Pelosi all rolled up in one — and that’s BEFORE they even get to his movies. I may disagree with many things the guy does, but I just don’t see him as a “hateful” or “hateable” figure. I can think of many things in the world more deserving of hatred than a writer/director of escapist entertainment.
And finally, with all the Lucas-bashing, why no mention of Spielberg, who directed the film, and therefore would seem to be as much to “blame” as Lucas?
USS Benon 30 Dec 2008 at 10:59 pm 58Scott said-
“I know there is the contention that the order to dive is heard on the soundtrack. Okay, Indy gets inside somehow.”
Sometimes, when U-boats dived, they kept the periscope up, so Indy could’ve held onto that and stayed above the surface.
As for Indy 4: just pretend it was one of Indy’s crazy dreams. It’s mildly entertaining, but the script…okay it sucks compared to the rest of the series, and it’s far more unbelievable (not just the “plot,” if you wanna call it that, but the situations they survive) than the others.
Amos-
That was a hilarious review!
Joe Weldonon 31 Dec 2008 at 3:17 am 59NeoConJedi,
You have a point. Tarantino is a complete douche. I never liked any of his films. Too much talking and ripping off other movies.
jbwon 31 Dec 2008 at 8:02 am 60Well, I enjoyed one thing about Crystal Skull beside just Indy being back. That was to see Indiana Jones talking smack about the commies. When was the last time we saw commies as bad guys.
memomachineon 31 Dec 2008 at 8:25 am 61Hmmm.
“Easily the worst James Bond movie ever because it’s not even a lousy James Bond movie, it’s a lousy Bourne sequel. The plot’s as incomprehensible as the action scenes and the villain as dull as the title song. We’re one removed from a reboot and already in need of a reboot.”
Good lord it was awful!
1. Shaky cam: seriously. If you need this in a movie then just: die die die!
2. What the hell is going on with the editing!? Cutting back and forth between action scenes and some stupid horse race? Who the F–K gives a rat’s hind end about the dumb horse race?
3. Water? This whole nonsense is over –water–!??
Ummm. That’s frankly as stupid a plot as I’ve ever seen. Hello!? Icebergs. Think about that. The amount of money, energy and all around corporate evil spent on overthrowing a legitimate government in order to corral all the fresh water could be better spent, and much easier too, in simply controlling icebergs.
Hell there are even studies completed that shows it’s economically viable to use nuclear powered tugboats to move enormous icebergs to coastal areas that need fresh water.
4. What’s with the trench coat girl?
Soooo. You’re in -Venezuela-, a tropical country, and wearing a trench coat. Stylish but utter stupid.
5. Am I wrong in thinking perhaps the way to head off a dangerous international conspiracy is to, perhaps just perhaps, kill off the leadership of that conspiracy?
Particularly for an assassin?
…
Ugh. There’s far too much wrong here to list. If this is supposed to be the future of the Bond franchise then it is high time to inter this decaying corpse.
Kicking Over My Traces: South Park Dittoheadon 31 Dec 2008 at 9:57 am 62[…] thanks to Dirty Harry’s “10 Worst Films Of 2008” post, I have seen this […]
Bill Bon 31 Dec 2008 at 5:05 pm 63I think the Indiana Jones sequelk was the biggest disappointment for me. After hearing for years about this this is all they come up with? Substitute Commies for Nazis, cut and paste Raiders of the Lost Ark sequences - and that’s that.
Quantum of Solace - because of the bad reviews I didn’t waste my $9 - I was expecting something as good as Casino Royale…
JohnJon 01 Jan 2009 at 8:31 am 64The worst movie that’s not on your list: You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.
An utterly horrid movie on every level.
My ideas for the best movies of 2008:
10. Horton Hears a Who! “Though you can’t hear them or see them at all, a person’s a person, no matter how small!”
9. An American Carol
8. Prince Caspian
7. Hancock
6. Sweeney Todd
5. Iron Man
4. Tropic Thunder
3. Rambo
2. Fireproof
1. The Dark Knight
Unfortunately, I have not yet had the chance to see Gran Torino or The Wrestler.
StringerBon 02 Jan 2009 at 2:55 pm 65Am I the ONLY one to have found the X-Files movie to be even more of a letdown than Indy and James Bond were to many (on and off this site)?
Mike Schneideron 09 Dec 2009 at 3:29 pm 66Re: What I Learned From Quantum of Solace….
1. Steel & concrete buildings burn faster than gasoline-soaked gun-cotton.
2. …oh the hell with this; I got better things to do.